Pebbles from the Sea of Galilee

Why is there a custom to leave a small stone at the grave of a loved one when visiting a Jewish cemetery? Throughout the centuries the tradition of leaving a pebble or small stone on the monument or the grave has become part of the act of remembrance.

In ancient times in the Land of Israel, graves were covered with a mound of rocks and stones and not a large single stone monument like we have today. Priests (cohanim) traveling in the countryside and festival pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem needed to avoid coming on contact with grave sites in order to maintain their state of spiritual purity. So it was important to know exactly where graves were.

Adding stones whenever someone came to visit a grave would help ensure that the mound was always visible to passersby.

Perhaps this is where our current custom comes from. Whatever the original source, today this small act signals that someone has cared enough to remember and visit their departed loved one.

There is a tradition to recite some psalms on behalf of the deceased before placing the pebble on the monument. Below are a selection of three of the most common psalms recited by the grave side.

PSALMS TO RECITE AT THE GRAVESIDE

Psalms Chapter 23 תְּהִלִּים

א מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד: יְהוָה רֹעִי, לֹא אֶחְסָר.	1 A Song of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
ב בִּנְאוֹת דֶּשֶׁא, יַרְבִּיצֵנִי; עַל-מֵי מְנֻחוֹת יְנַהֲלֵנִי.	2 He causes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
ג נַפְשִׁי יְשׁוֹבֵב; יַנְחֵנִי בְמַעְגְּלֵי-צֶדֶק, לְמַעַן שְׁמוֹ.	3 He restores my soul; He guides me in straight paths for His Name’s sake.
ד גַּם כִּי-אֵלֵךְ בְּגֵיא צַלְמָוֶת, לֹא-אִירָא רָע– כִּי-אַתָּה עִמָּדִי; שִׁבְטְךָ וּמִשְׁעַנְתֶּךָ, הֵמָּה יְנַחֲמֻנִי.	4 And, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
ה תַּעֲרֹךְ לְפָנַי, שֻׁלְחָן– נֶגֶד צֹרְרָי; דִּשַּׁנְתָּ בַשֶּׁמֶן רֹאשִׁי, כּוֹסִי רְוָיָה.	5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; my cup runs over.
ו אַךְ, טוֹב וָחֶסֶד יִרְדְּפוּנִי– כָּל-יְמֵי חַיָּי; וְשַׁבְתִּי בְּבֵית-יְהוָה, לְאֹרֶךְ יָמִים.	6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

 

Psalms Chapter 91 תְּהִלִּים

א יֹשֵׁב, בְּסֵתֶר עֶלְיוֹן; בְּצֵל שַׁדַּי, יִתְלוֹנָן.	1 Whomever dwells in the refuge of the Most High, he shall dwell in the shadow of the Almighty;
ב אֹמַר–לַיהוָה, מַחְסִי וּמְצוּדָתִי; אֱלֹהַי, אֶבְטַח-בּוֹ.	2 I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust,’
ג כִּי הוּא יַצִּילְךָ, מִפַּח יָקוּשׁ; מִדֶּבֶר הַוּוֹת.	3 That He will deliver you from the snare of the trap, and from devastating pestilence.
ד בְּאֶבְרָתוֹ, יָסֶךְ לָךְ–וְתַחַת-כְּנָפָיו תֶּחְסֶה; צִנָּה וְסֹחֵרָה אֲמִתּוֹ.	4 He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings shall you take refuge; His truth is a shield and armor.
ה לֹא-תִירָא, מִפַּחַד לָיְלָה; מֵחֵץ, יָעוּף יוֹמָם.	5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day;
ו מִדֶּבֶר, בָּאֹפֶל יַהֲלֹךְ; מִקֶּטֶב, יָשׁוּד צָהֳרָיִם.	6 Of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noon.
ז יִפֹּל מִצִּדְּךָ, אֶלֶף–וּרְבָבָה מִימִינֶךָ: אֵלֶיךָ, לֹא יִגָּשׁ.	7 A thousand may encamp at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but they shall not come near you.
ח רַק, בְּעֵינֶיךָ תַבִּיט; וְשִׁלֻּמַת רְשָׁעִים תִּרְאֶה.	8 You will only watch with your eyes, and you will see the retribution of the wicked.
ט כִּי-אַתָּה יְהוָה מַחְסִי; עֶלְיוֹן, שַׂמְתָּ מְעוֹנֶךָ.	9 For you have [said] ‘the LORD is my refuge,’ you will have made the Most High, your dwelling place.
י לֹא-תְאֻנֶּה אֵלֶיךָ רָעָה; וְנֶגַע, לֹא-יִקְרַב בְּאָהֳלֶךָ.	10 No evil shall befall you, neither shall any plague come near to your tent.
יא כִּי מַלְאָכָיו, יְצַוֶּה-לָּךְ; לִשְׁמָרְךָ, בְּכָל-דְּרָכֶיךָ.	11 For He will give His angels charge over you, to protect you in all your ways.
יב עַל-כַּפַּיִם יִשָּׂאוּנְךָ: פֶּן-תִּגֹּף בָּאֶבֶן רַגְלֶךָ.	12 They shall bear you upon their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.
יג עַל-שַׁחַל וָפֶתֶן, תִּדְרֹךְ; תִּרְמֹס כְּפִיר וְתַנִּין.	13 You shall tread upon the lion and asp; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample under foot.
יד כִּי בִי חָשַׁק, וַאֲפַלְּטֵהוּ; אֲשַׂגְּבֵהוּ, כִּי-יָדַע שְׁמִי.	14 ‘Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
טו יִקְרָאֵנִי, וְאֶעֱנֵהוּ–עִמּוֹ-אָנֹכִי בְצָרָה; אֲחַלְּצֵהוּ, וַאֲכַבְּדֵהוּ.	15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him, and bring him to honor.
טז אֹרֶךְ יָמִים, אַשְׂבִּיעֵהוּ; וְאַרְאֵהוּ, בִּישׁוּעָתִי.	16 With long life will I satisfy him, and make him to behold My salvation.’

Psalms Chapter 16 תְּהִלִּים

א מִכְתָּם לְדָוִד: שָׁמְרֵנִי אֵל, כִּי-חָסִיתִי בָךְ.	1 A Michtam by David. Protect me, O God; for I have taken refuge in You.
ב אָמַרְתְּ לַיהוָה, אֲדֹנָי אָתָּה; טוֹבָתִי, בַּל-עָלֶיךָ.	2 You have said to the LORD: ‘You are my Lord; I have no good but in You’;
ג לִקְדוֹשִׁים, אֲשֶׁר-בָּאָרֶץ הֵמָּה; וְאַדִּירֵי, כָּל-חֶפְצִי-בָם.	3 For the sake of the holy ones that are interred in the earth, they are the excellent in whom is all my delight.
ד יִרְבּוּ עַצְּבוֹתָם, אַחֵר מָהָרוּ: בַּל-אַסִּיךְ נִסְכֵּיהֶם מִדָּם; וּבַל-אֶשָּׂא אֶת-שְׁמוֹתָם, עַל-שְׂפָתָי.	4 Their sorrows will multiply, those who rush after other [gods]; I shall not pour their blood libations, nor carry their names upon my lips.
ה יְהוָה, מְנָת-חֶלְקִי וְכוֹסִי– אַתָּה, תּוֹמִיךְ גּוֹרָלִי.	5 The LORD is my allotted portion and my share, You guide my destiny.
ו חֲבָלִים נָפְלוּ-לִי, בַּנְּעִמִים; אַף-נַחֲלָת, שָׁפְרָה עָלָי.	6 Portions have fallen to me in pleasant places; yes, I have a beautiful inheritance.
ז אֲבָרֵךְ–אֶת-יְהוָה, אֲשֶׁר יְעָצָנִי; אַף-לֵילוֹת, יִסְּרוּנִי כִלְיוֹתָי.	7 I will bless the LORD, who has given me counsel; yes, in the nights my own intellect instructs me.
ח שִׁוִּיתִי יְהוָה לְנֶגְדִּי תָמִיד: כִּי מִימִינִי, בַּל-אֶמּוֹט.	8 I have set the LORD before me always; surely He is at my right hand, I shall not falter.
ט לָכֵן, שָׂמַח לִבִּי–וַיָּגֶל כְּבוֹדִי; אַף-בְּשָׂרִי, יִשְׁכֹּן לָבֶטַח.	9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also dwells in safety;
י כִּי, לֹא-תַעֲזֹב נַפְשִׁי לִשְׁאוֹל; לֹא-תִתֵּן חֲסִידְךָ, לִרְאוֹת שָׁחַת.	10 For You will not abandon my soul in the grave; neither will You let your devout one witness destruction.
יא תּוֹדִיעֵנִי, אֹרַח חַיִּים: שֹׂבַע שְׂמָחוֹת, אֶת-פָּנֶיךָ; נְעִמוֹת בִּימִינְךָ נֶצַח.	11 You will make known to me the path of life; to experience the fulness of joy in Your presence, and the bliss that is in Your right hand forever.